Missed Connections

I just discovered the 'Missed Connections' section on craigslist.com. I find most of it romantic, some of it lonely, and some of it is unabashedly sexual. A friend and I had a conversation the other day about how we always seem to be creeping on people who don't creep back. We concluded that we must be common looking. "The Lord prefers common-looking people. That is why he makes so many of them."* We have strength in numbers.

Anyways, "Missed Connections" is the possibility that someone once saw me on the train and thought "I wan't a little sugar in my bowl / I want a little sweetness down in my soul"** (in reference, or course, to my own sugar). Not that I am trawling through the interwebs in hopes that I will bump into the guy I was drooling over in Gristedes (I am too much of a statistician). Not that I am lonely (I am too much of a loner). Just that it's good sometimes to hear someone say "Ausi, ako atamele hle"***.

Below is a mish-mash of some entries I found. (There are URLs to the individual entries scattered in there). I only added full-stops and one question mark.

****

I'm boyish for my age, had on a black t'shirt and helmet. You were big, shirtless, sweaty and handsome. You nodded and flashed an adorable smile. We exchanged glances several times while we were working out Sunday around noon. You were wearing a 'New York Boxing Club' tshirt, I was in a plain grey tshirt. aside from the occasional smoke, you are the most handsome man i've seen in ages.

A while back we were in the sauna together - with someone else - the extremely beautiful man eating a sandwich from elixr. all I wanted to do was check out your tight body but didn't want to stare. My mom always told me that was inconsiderate.

I came up to you and was interested in your gauges. You were Colombian and adorable but my friend was returning and I didn't get a chance to grab your number.  I believe we might have kissed but not entirely sure.

even though you are straight, I feel that its mutual. Am I wrong? I look at you, and I want to run my fingers through your hair, kiss your lips and let my tongue run across your teeth. I pray that we are never in the bathroom at the same time. I got it bad for you. it is going to be more difficult for me to hide how I feel about you.

Unfortunately I was too shy to say any of this to you, and am left with posting a 'missed connection'. 

I hope I see you on Tuesday.

I hope you see this.

***

*Abe Lincoln

**Nina Simone

***in Sesotho: "sister, why dont you get a little closer?"

Aunt Irene

Apparently hurricane Irene is visiting on Sunday. At first I didn't take it seriously - people are sometimes excitable here. The recent tremor for instance, had us all grabbing at our facebook-enabled phones in order to be in the first wave of "OMFGeee, did you feel the earthquake? My life flashed before of my eyes for all 3 seconds!" status updates. I just ignored Irene, safe in my "if its important, then someone important will email me" philosophy. The Fulbright has emailed me. My school has not yet, though.

The highway that runs on the west of Manhattan seems to be gridlocked up here in Washington Heights.  It's probably always gridlocked on a Friday afternoon, but today I squint down to see if the cars are full of children and pets and other things people take when they are running. I can't really tell.  I have just finished chatting to a friend who told me that they are saying that we may have power-cuts (horrible) and that these would entail internet-cuts (super horrible) for days.  Water may also be disrupted.

I have resolved to go hurricane-shopping with my bff Pedro. We are going to try and get tasteful flashlights, candles, canned food, water and duct tape for my windows at Target (I hope they still have stock!). After that I am going to see if any of the first-year boys who have moved in to my residence need extra reassurance in the form of caresses and hugs. In the words of Gaga, "love thy neighbour".

UPDATE: When I met up with Pedro to go Hurricane shopping, he said: "Hurricane?  I thought you said Heineken..." awkward.

The spoils of our hurricane conquest were toilet paper, water, and really tasty frozen french loaves which you pop into the oven for a few minutes for fresh boulangerie-like deliciousness and a crisp crust.

I will try again tomorrow.

LDR. You again?

I met a boy. Not on gaydar.co.za or at the gay bar (because you will never meet anyone nice at the gay bar - never ever).  We met through a common friend and discovered that we have a small common network. We had attended the same school - though we did not know each other then.

I crushed on him almost immediately.  He has all the qualities I am looking for in a man: slightly taller,  nice to look at, and not prima facie creepish. As we spent more time together, I discovered that we have a similar sense of humour and a sense of curiosity. Also, he dances like his hips were born in South Africa (which is notable because they were born in Michigan).

He would indeed fetch a high lobola (bride price): on top of the features I have already listed, he knows how to cook like a proper Italian, is well educated and has remarkable skin. If it were not for the fact that I am entertaining at parties, I know how to clean (in theory), and it seems like I will age well, this match would potentially be expensive for my kin. Overall though, I think that the lobola owing to his kin would be higher than that owing to mine, but not by a lot. By less than 6 cows (say). I digress.

Unfortunately, he was kind-of with another guy when we met so I was friendlined (v. past tense. to be dismissed romantically by being labelled 'just a friend'. e.g. Im'a friendline that boy coz I heard he's always scratching his between-the-legs). It turns out, though, that he had a crush on me too so about 7 weeks into my torment (and after it was over with the other guy) he asked to take a nap at my house, and I said yes. We took many naps, they were glorious. We became more intimate and open with each other than I have been with someone for a long time. A happy beginning.

We are both nomads, though, so shortly after our beginning we were (and are) on opposite sides of the Atlantic. And I am back here again - the LDR (long distance relationship). My LDR number 3, and his number 2. My sister asked me once, just after I had announced that number 2 was heading to Europe for 9 months: "why do the guys you date seem to leave the country a lot?" I don't know. When I told him about my current situation, one of my dear bff's offered: "If you are going to have a long-distance one or both of you must be really rich...". Another friend simply advised, "You're screwed."

I know I may be screwed... but it feels so freekin good.