Holiday Pics

I recently read something about soundscape and music - that the work of composers is firmly grounded in place. This thing that I read (I forgot where) claims that the sounds that punctuate a composer's everyday life show up in her compositions. They leave an imprint on her, whether or not she is aware.

I was thinking about the every day sounds I have lived in and what they might have imprinted in me... not that I am a musician or anything, just that I was a-quarter-to-vacation and trying to think about things that are as far away from my work as possible. The question was on my mind just before I visited New York two weeks ago, which was great because I can't think of a richer soundscape than that city. For whatever reason, I have very vivid memories of sound in New York: Subway trains constantly base-drumming underground, Bachata blaring from apartment windows in Washington Heights, snow plows scraping the west side highway, snippets of conversation in languages from around the world.

So I went around recording snippets of sound, like photographs, in different parts of the city. I wasn't very disciplined so most of the time I forgot to make recordings. I was occasionally reminded of my task when I heard beautiful music, like a distant wailing I heard in the cavernous subway station on the A line at 180th street, or an electric guitar crooning "both sides now" while I was waiting for the Staten Island Ferry.

I am sharing some of what I got here.

Staten Island Ferry Building - 3:00pm 10 Dec 2015

Waiting for the ferry back to Manhattan from Staten Island. 

A Train Platform - 180th Street - 11am Manhattan 11 Dec 2015

Walking towards the music in the underground A train station at 180th street. 

A Restaurant - Brooklyn - 5:00pm 12 Dec 2015

A waiter intones the specials to us in a restaurant in Brooklyn. 

The Same Restaurant - Brooklyn 5:30 12 Dec 2015

Hanging out with my Zim family.

Melville, Johannesburg - 5:30 pm 21 Dec 2015

Finally back home in Melville.

A guide to armrests in economy class

1. Place elbow at base of armrest, against the seat. Be first. Be casual, but quick and firm. Let go of inhibitions. Over the course of the flight, swivel arm over contested armrest while looking away. Seem interested in the in-case-of-crash card, or your book, or someone sitting ahead of you. Do not make contact with adversary. Do not apologize.

2. If your adversary claims armrest first, do not lose hope. Gather all the things you need to gather. Switch off your phone, ready your book or your laptop,  secure your seatbelt, undo your top button, check for your life jacket under your seat, note your nearest exit, take your sleeping pill. Then wait. Be watchful. Lean your elbow against your adversary's. Wait for a mistake - a tightening of the seatbelt, a reaching for the crusty in-flight magazine, a scratching of the nose. He will make a mistake - they always do. When he vacates the base of the armrest, or cedes centimeters of ground, pounce. Casually, but firmly - like a firm but casual cat. Seem nonchalant. Hum the national anthem. Do not retreat: forwards ever, backwards never. Annex the base of the armrest.

3. Your adversary, if reasonable, will capitulate, sensing a power greater than his.

4. If unreasonable he will attempt to wait for you as you waited for him. But have you not gathered all the things? You planned ahead, and you are strong. You are a Masai warrior, a Buddhist monk. You will persist. You will cede no ground. You will take a nap without ever relaxing your tricep.

5. If resistant, he will attempt to re-claim lost ground. Do not be weak. Turn your elbows out. Interlace your fingers. Consider the clouds intently. Avoid eye contact. Invite no conversation with the enemy. You don’t need him. Did you not come to this earth alone? Are you not enough for yourself? Appear to doze off.

6. If belligerent he will attempt to make you uncomfortable with his arm-sweat. He will attempt to put your arm in his armpit or envelop you with his dank skin. You will feel a wetness of unknown provenance. (Is it his sweat, or mine? Or our sweat intermingling intercontinentally?). Do not be weak. Do not relax your tricep. Strange sweat is temporary. You will not die. Hum the song "Titanium" to lift the spirits.

7. If you have followed these instructions, you will reach your destination in full control of both armrests. If you find you have lost an armrest, reflect on your failures. Remember: not everyone was born to be great. Perhaps your divine purpose is to cede armrests to stronger strangers. Drink a bottle of wine in the shower, crying.

Beginnings and Endings (Part 2)

December(ish), 2012
Lake Merrit
Oakland, California

Almost 2 years ago, I entered an empty room with off-white walls and a view of the Hudson River and the George Washington Bridge. It was a new beginning. A completely new start. I knew 3 people in the city and carried my entire life in two suitcases and an overstuffed carry-on.  There is something poignant about gathering a life into suitcases and an overstuffed carry-on, and leaving behind no traces of yourself.

I did it again 5 months ago. Up and left. Erasing myself and creating myself again. This time in match-box studio apartment in front of a lake. I own a bookshelf, a desk and a chair. The bed is twice handed down. Both past owners work where I work. If it could speak, I would ask it to be quiet. There is enough space for me and my two-suitcase life in my studio. I don't own any living things. It feels like home. When I was home (in South Africa) and I imagined home, this was what I imagined. 

I guess I am one for beginnings and endings. Middles are fine too -  life has more middles than beginning and endings, I guess.  I don’t dislike them. There is nothing like a new home, though, or a newly old home. A beginning and ending. I want to call it freedom. But that word has too many meanings in the U.S.

People are amazing. I have met many, and I have learnt how to make insta-friends. When you leave somewhere and end up somewhere else, far from anything you know, you make insta-friends. You meet people, become intimate real quick,  and next thing you know you are family. You cling onto each other because for some reason, its important to care for people and, to be cared for. Even if its just occasionally getting together to laugh about how smart people can get so quickly dumb when they speak about people who come from where you come from. Or sitting in the park trying to figure out why boys treat us like Michelle, the extra child of Destiny, when it is obvious that we are Beyonce, the golden-child. 

I have been willing myself, over the last few weeks, to be awed by my fortune here. Maybe its self-indulgent. My aim was to document this short and amazing moment in my short  life - and how unimaginable it was 7 years ago. How impossible. I don't want to take it for granted. But I also don’t want to make an it-gets-better-as-evidenced-by-my-awesome-life-I-love-myself-and-you-should-love-me-too video. Feel free to move on to something else. There must be something else more important on the internet.

Questions and 3am thoughts

About 3am - Monday February 21 2011
Washington Heights
New York City

1. Snow is ugly. And it is unpleasant. Why are you dreaming of a white christmas? 
2. Go-go boys are cute. But why do they always leave an oily residue on my fingers? 
3. You will never meet a nice boy at the club. Go home and watch a rom-com. 
4. Grey sweatpants are always ugly. 
5. Bhuti, why are you trying to sit next to me in the subway? And why are your thighs all up in my grill? Can you not press your knees together and look straight ahead like everyone else? 
6. Facebook is addictive. But at least I'm not on crack.